Going on a retreat on your own as a gay man
Going on a retreat on your own is something organisers plan for, and a group retreat can make travelling alone easier, because meals, activities and company are built into the day. Decide early whether you'll share a room or pay more for your own, tell the organiser you're coming on your own, and make sure someone at home knows where you'll be.
The hardest part of going alone is usually the week before, when you picture walking into a room where everyone already knows each other. In practice, you often won't be the only one who came alone, and organisers plan for it. This guide covers how the group works, the room question, the first evening, staying safe and how to find some company before you go.
Two meanings of "solo retreat"
People use "solo retreat" for two different things. One is a personal retreat, where you go somewhere quiet by yourself, with no group and no programme. The other is joining a group retreat on your own, without a partner or friend. This guide is about the second. If what you want is complete solitude, a private cabin or a retreat centre that rents rooms to individuals may suit you better.
Why a group retreat suits a solo traveller
On a retreat, you don't have to plan your days or find someone to eat with. There's a timetable, meals are shared, and conversation starts on its own during a walk or over the washing-up. Groups also tend to be mixed in age. Tom Barber Yoga, which runs retreats for gay, bi, trans and queer men, says the youngest guests are usually in their 20s and most are in their 30s and 40s, with men in their 50s, 60s and 70s joining too. Some organisers go further for newcomers: the Edward Carpenter Community held some places on its November 2026 Lake District week for men who'd never been to one of its events.
Tell the organiser when you book that you're coming on your own. Good organisers will make a point of introducing you, and some can put you in touch with other solo guests before the week.
Sharing a room or paying for your own
This is the biggest decision, and it changes the price. A room of your own usually costs more, sometimes a little and sometimes a lot. At Casa Brisa, near Sitges, the difference on its May 2027 week is €180. At the Cotswolds Juice Retreat it's up to £400. Some retreats don't offer single rooms at all: the Edward Carpenter Community's Lake District week uses dormitories with bunk beds. Others will pair you with another solo guest. Sura Detox in Devon, for example, offers twin beds for strangers sharing a room with its own bathroom.
Many people are comfortable sharing with someone they've never met, and it can be the start of a friendship, but it isn't for everyone. Ask who you'd be sharing with, whether the beds are separate, and whether you can swap if it doesn't work. If you know you sleep badly in a shared room, pay for your own and count it as part of the holiday. How much does a retreat cost? compares real room prices.
The first evening, and time to yourself
Arrive in time for the welcome dinner or opening circle if there is one. It's the easiest moment to meet everyone, because they're all meeting for the first time too. You don't have to be sociable all week. Take a book, skip a session, go for a walk alone. On a good retreat, time on your own is part of the plan, not a sign that something's wrong. Gay men's retreats: what to expect on your first one describes the first evening in more detail.
Staying safe on your own
Send your travel details and the organiser's contact details to a friend or relative before you leave, and agree when you'll check in. Save the organiser's phone number and the venue's address on your phone. If the retreat is abroad, read the UK government's foreign travel advice for that country or the US State Department's page for gay and lesbian travellers, because laws and attitudes vary a lot from one country to another. If the organiser offers an airport transfer, ask who provides it, where and when you'll be picked up, and how to reach the driver if your flight is late, so you know the plan before you land. And if anything during the week makes you uncomfortable, tell the organiser straight away.
Finding company before you go
If you'd rather not travel alone, you can look for company before you book. Among Our People has a Travel buddies section for finding someone who wants to explore the same destinations. If you do arrange to go with someone you've met online, talk on a video call first and meet in a public place before you travel together. You can also ask the organiser whether other guests are flying in at the same time and would like to share a taxi from the airport.
Going alone often means you meet more people, because you're not tucked into a conversation with someone you already know. When you're ready to look, browse gay men's and mixed retreats on Among Our People and tell the organiser you're coming on your own. ✦
General information, not travel or legal advice. Prices were checked on 22 October 2026 and can change, so confirm them with the organiser before you book.